Men & Women

screen-shot-2016-10-01-at-7-34-15-pm

We are standing in the changing room after training. All of us tired. But also lighter and “happier” than before training. Smiles. And our faces look easier. Today we were about 12 or 14 people, all men and myself. And I say that I decided not to lose weight. And Dave says that I should not, that I look great. And I say “Thank you” and explain that I meant for U.S. Open.  That I am exactly in between weights. 135Lbs with the gi. The cuts are 129Lbs and then 141Lbs for women.

I usually train with men, just because there are more men than women at the gym and in this sport. The lightest one is probably around 165Lbs. This means I am so used to work against a heavier fighter. If I opt for losing weight I have to starve myself, and with all the work load and training it weakens me up. Thus, the weigh is fine.

I get into the car. My both kids, who were waiting for me to finish training, are with me. I feel bad that they have to spend all this time in the gym, but they always say they do not mind. I look at them and I feel this deep love in me. Love that translates into care. As I drive home I think about this recent spark of articles about how hard it is for women to work in tech or to get funding in tech or to be tech company founder. And I think that this is true. Or it might be true in many cases.

It is the same way that it is harder for a woman to train in a mostly men team, where all your opponents are at least 30 pounds heavier. In sports I never think of it. I am the one who wants to enter this game and play here. And I do not mind the difference, I do not think I am in a disadvantage. I might be, but I do not care. I am going to train and fight anyway, because this is who I am. And I like it. I like pushing myself till I can feel my muscles giving it all for a few seconds. I like the sweat. I like grabbing the gi and pushing the other person around. I like to sprawl and control his head. I like when I can get out of a bad situation, after thinking that I was done, but not giving up. I like the eyes of my partner right before my head will go into his shoulder. I love the physical concentration of our bodies. You are never sloppy when you fight. I love every detail of fighting. This is why I do it.

The same is true to building a tech startup. I started working on my project two and a half years ago and I fully went into it this July. It is hard. It is mostly a male dominated world where women are welcome but a few stay. Because it gets really tough along the road. Getting a team is hard. Raising money is very hard. Dealing with a lot of men and a few women who will meet with you and reject your project. For different reasons, because they do not see how it is going to monetize, because I do not have a male cofounder (yes, people said that, and then rectified, that they meant a technical cofounder), because I am a mom, because they do not see the product market fit, because they just do not feel it. My male advisors look at my deck and the MVP and say I should not have problems raising funding. And then when I go for it I have all problems I could ever have. I think many just want to see if I stick around long enough working on the project after I have been rejected hundred times. May be men just stick around longer and women quit easier. I do not know.

I believe in what I do. I know that ultimately my product will help hundreds of people get jobs and live better. It is a long road though. And my natural way to deal with it is how I deal with fighting. I am not going to focus on disadvantages. I will fight regularly with a heavier opponent. I will train. I will show up. No matter how hard things are, how sad I am or how sore I am from yesterday. I will fight my way into improving myself. I will become good. I can do this because I know who I am and what I care about.

You have to know who you are. Once you have it you will find the way to achieve it. I think the major disadvantage is not sex or weight, it is not knowing yourself. This is what makes us less resourceful, this is what makes us give up on things we try to achieve. I guess the question is “What do you really care about?”.

On human bodies & beauty

A real life editorial for a fashion company

A few months ago I got some dresses from the company I work for and gathered a small team to shoot an editorial about how beautiful human bodies are. I am not talking about models. I am taking about real women and men.

I see beauty in people that surround me. There are intense moments that transmit the essence of living. Confidence, purity, strength, ability, observation, silence, worry. Those moments are beautiful. And we are beautiful when we live through those moments. I wanted to be able to show those through one concise and finite episode of a woman observing men training.

A few weeks before I have seen the work of a San Francisco photographer Ted Glenwright. He did amazing editorial shots of Isaac during his boxing fight. I knew right away that he was the photographer I wanted to work with. Luckily Ted liked the idea.

I asked couple of friends from Marin MMA club to shot en editorial while they train and they agreed. I asked another friend to watch the fight. I asked her to wear the dresses as if those were hers. Nothing was staged. The result came out as real life fashion editorial (if such term exists).

Titles - Ted Glenwright

Titles - Ted Glenwright

Titles - Ted Glenwright

Titles - Ted Glenwright

Titles - Ted Glenwright

Titles - Ted Glenwright

Credits
Photographer: Ted Glenwright
Art Director: Masha Kubyshina (IGIGI)
Models: Camille Rose Schmidt, Arnaud Dupuis, Isaac Lappert, Marin Cabac
Dresses: IGIGI, www.igigi.com
Shot at Marin MMA http://www.marinmma.com

Notes from Rome: weddings, cars and a deer head with a cross

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Saturday. In every church we passed by there was a wedding going on. I wrote before how elegant and beautiful Italian people look. Well, that was their everyday look. On Saturday they and their children looked gorgeous. Dark and skinny Italian women were all in short silk dresses or beautiful red or black gowns. All men in suits. All kids in white outfits. Girls looked like little bridesmaids. Everybody is sweating in their attire under the hot Italian sun. Still the crowd around churches looked wonderful. There you hear only Italian. The non-tourist Italian. Harsh, straightforward and melodic. Most of the men are nervous, women are stressed out calming down their small children. All parents getting their kids cold water from the ice cream vendors and asking them to be patient. Men standing outside of the church. Talking. In black or grey suits. Using white fans. Church stairs adored with some fresh flowers. White flowers. Nothing else. All of the people are elegant, nervous, sweating under the afternoon sun and still looking simple and spotless.

Cars. Cars are small. Much smaller than in any other country. Mini cars and Vespas is all you see on the streets of Rome. Old cars next to the new cars. All of them are small and easy to park. Italians drive chaotically everywhere, not following the road, but rather the direction they want to go. I saw cars turning around in the middle of a busy street, cars zipping through narrow cobblestone paved roads that you think are not drivable, cars sliding among buses and tourists on the crowded plazas. I like the driving style in Rome. It is fast, chaotic, but it is ‘a style’. I would not mind driving in this city.

When we looked for the best coffee in Rome, we were directed to Sant’Eustachio Il Caffè. It is located on a small plaza half way between Pantheon and Pl. Navona. The café looks everything but chic. Very simple and everyday. Few metallic tables outside on the cobblestone paved plaza. Yellow bags of coffee beans and amaretto cookies wrapped in yellow tissue paper on the counter. Coffee liquor bottles with yellow labels. Men and women, Italians and tourists are crowded inside the café. Old men in suits with cigars, young men in shirts and sunglasses. Women wearing dresses and high heels. The coffee is amazing. When you sit outside and look up you see the roof of the church entrance with a deer head and a cross on the top. And the birds flying around it. And the coffee is very thick and soft. When the coffee is rich you skip the food. After two cups of Americano you are not hungry. And you love the coffee smell around the place and the sweet velvety taste it leaves in your mouth. Really good coffee is sweet without sugar. And you carry away the taste with you. As well as the feeling of looking up and seeing a deer head with the cross on St. Eustachio church and the birds flying high in the sky.

Rome, July 7th, 2012