My best meeting ever is a meeting with myself at the cafe. This is where I get really productive. This is when I really enjoy my work, my thoughts, my time.

During the rest of the day I am surrounded by people that expect me to listen to them, to reply, to interact. At the cafe it is just me, my coffee and my laptop. Yes, there are people around me, but these people do not expect anything from me. They are just there living their lives. What an awesome feeling! Wondering if it would be ok to tell the old men on the table next to me that I love him just because he sits there and reads the newspaper? Nope, I probably should not do these things.

They also play music at the cafe. It is great, because otherwise I would never listen to any music at all. I am generally too busy even to think about music, let alone to spare one minute to decide what I feel like listening to, and to actually find that song and hit play. Too many actions and decisions for me, in reality it almost never happens. Apart from music, they bring me coffee. At this cafe, as I come here every day, I do not have even to ask for it. The waiters are my friends. I know their names, they know what I drink.

Here am I on my meeting with myself. Working. And taking ten minutes to type this. Those who think that creating and running their own company is fun… Well, they are right, it is fun. It is hard as hell too. You just do not stop to think how hard it is while you are doing it. It means that your family sees you mostly behind the laptop. And you do not see them. It means that you only play with your kids in between of the meetings, emails and skype calls. It means that your personal life is none existent. You lose your family, you barely keep up with your friends, and the only time you get to breath is when you are in the shower. You wake up and you think about this great idea, thought, feature, you eat breakfast and you think how to bring it to practice or something similar. Nope, you do not think about what you eat. This is why you eat the same breakfast for ten years in a row, you simplify your life to the maximum in anything that is not related to what you do.

You live under a constant pressure. You get used to it. It is the pressure that *you* always have to do something. If you do not do it, nobody will. Thus, you just do it. You get used to the fact that your free time is when you let yourself “relax” and read a chapter of that business book that you wanted to read. And not be productive for two hours. Just be passive and read. All those great books about how to relax and take one day at a time really do not work. Your passion is what creates the pressure. Your passion and the urge to make it real. It is not about money. Hell no! Hard to explain. Most of all it is about gaining back a piece of your own heart.

The cafe is closing. The meeting is over. Out on the street and what a night!

Note: After I hit publish on this post the WordPress suggested I should add “mental health” to the tags. Hmmm…. made me smile more than think.