Talking about Miro’s paintings with my six year old

Fundacio Joan Miro Barcelona

August 8th 2013:

“What have you seen today?”

“A bird that ate the sun.”

“What is your favorite painting in the museum?”

“There are two of them. The firebird (The Firebird) and the white bird. The white one with two color spots (The bird of the paradise).”

….

August 11th 2013:

“What do you remember from today?”

“Not from today. From the first time we went to the museum I remember two things. I saw them again today. The yellow egg on a chair, because of the color. And the second thing is a painting of woman, flower and fire.”

“What painting are you talking about. I can’t remember it.”

“It has a woman looking sideways, fire, flower. There is a red wall behind the woman. I can draw it for you. It has lots of red and yellow.”

(Flame in space and naked woman)

….

August 24th, 2013:

“What did you like today the most?”

“The two drawing of the garden” (Personajes en el jardin II and Personajes en el jardin IV)

“Why did you like them?”

“Because the garden was full of fruits”

“Those were not fruits, those were people’s faces”

“They looked like fruits to me”

….

“My favorite three paintings are of the birds and the sun. I like the one where the bird ate the sun.”

“What do you like about them?”

“All three paintings have a bird, a blue rectangle, a sun and a star. The star is important and easy to draw.”

….

Miro's painting

“I know how he did this one. He used cotton swabs. I am going to do one at home too.”

Lorena's painting ….

“Can we lick the mercury fountain?”

‘No.”

“Is there fish in the fountain?”

“No.”

“Hmm. Let’s stay here for a while and look how the water falls.”

….

“I do not know whether I want to be an artist or a horse as a grown up.”

and a little bit later

“… I think I can be both. I will be an artist in the mornings and horse in the evenings.”

Las Montañas de Nieve

The salt mountain, Cardona“Where will we go today?”
Miro is three years old. It is August and we are in Spain.
“I do not know. Let’s look at the map and see what is around here.”
“Let’s go see another castle.”

After we pass Montserrat the main color is yellow. Sunburnt country. The hills before the Pyrenees are green. We stop at Cardona.
“What language do we speak here?”
Lorena is six. She has asked me this question many times this summer. Every time the car stopped in a new town.
“Spanish or Catalan. Whichever you prefer.”
“Catalan.”
“Good.”

“The fence is from the 12th century. The frescos have been removed, you can see them at MNAC.”
It is cold in the crypt. I sit on the stone and watch my children run around the crypt and the church. We are the only visitors here. The kids are playing horses. The guard, who opened us the church door and is standing next to it, smiles at me. The church is cool and empty. After the hot August sun the air inside is like water.

“Salt.”
“The white mountains?”
“Yes. We call them Las Montañas de Nieve. What you see from this window is salt.”
We buy a card and a book from the guard and leave.

The entrance hall is empty. We are the only visitors again. We are charged 28 Euros to be taken inside the salt mine. The kids are excited. We board on a 4×4 and drive to the mine. The road is made of salt. Then we walk on salt.

“All the mountain is salt. There is no rock or other elements inside of it. It consists of three types of salt, potassium, magnesium and the regular salt. Magnesium salt is mostly orange.
It breaks easily. Miners hated it,” Monica, the guide, is taking us on a walking tour inside the salt mountains.
“Can I lick the wall?”
“Yes.”
Both kids are licking the walls with enthusiasm.
“Umm. I love salt.”

It is cold inside the mountain.
“We are 46 meters deep now, the temperature is stable at 17C here.”
“Was the temperature an obstacle to the mining?”
“It was, but not here. The mines go up to 1300 meters deep inside the mountain. It is all salt. The miners were only interested in potasa (potassium). It was used for gunpowder. In this mine about 30% of the salt is potasa. Every time there would be no more left, miners would go deeper into the ground. At 1300 meters the temperature of the earth is 50C. Miners worked at these conditions with ventilation installations. Also, the ground waters were dripping non stop and it required a lot of machinery and human labor to keep the mine dry and in working conditions. In 1990s the mine was closed as the operating costs surpassed the profits. Ten years ago it was opened for tourism.”

I ask Monica how did the city life changed with the mine closure.
“I think it is good that the mining was terminated here. Otherwise in 50 years there would be no mountain left. We would have lost all the resources and the scenery.”
“How do the people live here now?”
“Tourism.
“Does it give enough?”
“Not yet. Tourism is a longterm investment. We are very young in this sense. We have the castle (Cardona Fortress) and the mines. In 20 years from now it will be better. It will give us profit while conserving the heritage.”

Living off the heritage. I fall silent. I look at the mines. They are beautiful and motionless. The quietness of not living. My eyes see people working. The effort and excellence of human mind and body created kilometers of tunnels, clogging the salt rock with the machinery noise and dust. You must be good! You must be damn good at what you do in order to do it! Otherwise you would not touch this mountain.

While we are waiting for the 4×4 Lorena talks to Monica in Catalan. I can’t hear her. I am surrounded by the absence of sound that comes from inside of the mountain. I can see Lorena hugging and kissing Monica on the cheek.

“I have seven horses. Come to visit me and you can ride there. I live close to Sant Llorenç de Morunys. There is a swamp called La Llosa de Cavall. You will find me there. There is only one house along the swamp, this is where I live. And I have a 10 year old daughter. Come over for a visit.”
“Can we visit Monica?”
“Of course.”

In the car I write down the name of the town and the place.
“You do not need my phone number. If I am not at home, go to the town and ask for Monica de las Casas, this is how they call me here. You will find me.”
“We will. We will come over next Saturday, will you be there?”
“I will.”

“Mom, I love Monica. What color do you think are her horses? Will she have white ones? I do not like white horses.”
“Neither do I.”
“I know. This is why I do not like them too. They are awful, right?”
I look at her and laugh.
“Nope. Some of the white ones must be fine. It is just the one that I rode was bad-tempered. Almost broke my hands once. Others must be good. Do not be afraid to ride white horses.”
“I am not.”

We drive in silence. Then kids start talking about the salt mountain. They want to go there again.
“Are you tired?”
“No.”
It is close to midnight when we get on B-20 towards Barcelona.

Cardona FortressCardona Fortress.The church, CardonaSan Vicente church within the castle.CardonaThe view from the castle.Salt MountainThe Salt Mountains, CardonaInside the salt minesInside the Salt Mines, Cardona.salt mountainsSalt Mountains CardonaSalt Mountains.San Vicente churchInscription on the floor of San Vicente Church within the Cardona Fortress: Valer o Morir.

Where the Wind is Dry

Alquézar, Aragones, Spain

We stood on the top of the hill and the wind was dry. It was dry and it blew hard. The wind is never this way in the city. It was neither strong, nor noisy; you could not even say it was windy. All you knew was that it was very quiet. Just the burning sun over your head, and the wind that dried the hills in this part of Aragon. The Somontano region. Your skin was being burnt, acquiring the color of the red sandy rocks that surrounded you. The wind blew hard till you seemed to have no flesh left on your face and hands. You touched yourself: skin and bones. And the hot rocks under your feet. This is how the wind was in August in this part of the country. It made you become quiet and not feel anything except respect for this land and its people, it made you be strong.

You walk uphill. Burnt by the sun. The stone paved road to the castle is steep and hurts your feet. You turn again. All you hear is the silence of the dry wind. You want so much to walk this road.

This land is not mine, but I would fight for it. With no emotions, no feelings, no patriotism. I would fight for it willingly, consciously, with precision, like operating a delicate machinery. With passion for living. This is the only thing one can do under this dry wind and the burning sun.

I like to walk the roads that are hard. I do it purposefully. When I hurt myself, I neither complain, nor feel the pain; I appreciate deeper that I live, and learn to walk better. I attached myself to people and things, only to realize that I do not love people and things, I have nothing in common with them. They became a burden. When you walk uphill you know that the only thing one can be passionate about is walking. The dry wind and sun burn your skin; they also burn the grapes in Somontano. The wine carries the silky taste of strength and you are not thirsty or tired any longer.

Years before you came here, you knew you walked in the land where the roads are steep and the wind is dry.

AlquézarAlquézar townAlquézar rocksMonzón castleMonzón towerMonzón castle detailMonzón entranceVineyards in SomontanoPomegranate tree in Alquezar

Onstage you always smile

Lorena onstage b&w

“Remember girls, onstage you have to look happy. Always! You have to smile when you dance. When you dance here on a real stage, you have to forget about your tiredness, about your parents, about the public, you have to forget everything except the desire to dance well. Dance to your best ability, dance with joy, always with a smile on your face. Your hands and feet know what to do, now you have to dance your best and smile. It must be the smile of acknowledgment of your effort, of your ability. Your hardest work is the best celebration and joy you will have in life.”

“Please do not dance just to have fun, do not just do something for the sake of doing something. Always do the best you can, do it with purpose, with passion, strive, work hard. Now you have seen the lights turned upon you, wearing a beautiful dress, wearing makeup, may be for the first time in your life. Do you know what it means?”

“This beautiful dress is a part of celebration of your effort and your ability. This dress represents your purpose, it accounts for every hour your spent dancing to be on this stage, it is the beauty of your hard work. Wear it with pride! Wear it with a smile! You are the true owner of this dress now!”

“Today is your last rehearsal, tomorrow the public will be watching you. Forget everything except how well you can dance! Your chin always up, a smile, and only think about the best you can perform! In this accomplishment and in the celebration of it lies the happiness.”

Those were the words of the ballet instructor to the girls who were about to perform onstage for the first time in their lives. Skirts, tutus, little feet running behind the stage. People in black hurrying around, gesticulating, the dresses being steamed, girls rehearsing in the halls, makeup artists, voices. Music, more little feet running up and down the stairs. “The door one?” “Ready.”

I generally do not put the portraits of my daughter on this blog. However, I made an exception this time. I find these two portraits to be a reflection of what she was able to do. I did those shots behind the stage, at night, after the last rehearsal was over. She was very tired. I asked her if she was afraid of dancing onstage and she said she wasn’t. And added that she wants to go back onstage. She just turned six.

Lorena after her baller rehearsal

On the Road to Spain

“Lorena, Lorena,” the voice was intense and quiet.
“How do you know that my name is Lorena?” she asked.
“I know you. I saw you many times.”
“It is raining,” she observed.
“Do you know that when it rains in Spain it snows here?” he asked.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“And when it rains here it snows in Spain,” he said.
“It never snows in Spain,” she stated in a steady voice.
“Yes. Sometimes it snows in Spain,” the boy insisted quietly.
“It never snows in Spain on Christmas,” she said.
“Spain is the only place where it does not snow on Christmas,” he agreed.
“It does not snow in California on Christmas. California is in America. I used to live in California.”
“My dad goes to America a lot,” said the boy.
“May be he can come to my house in California next time he goes there,” she offered.
“He never stops in America. He just flies the plane there and comes back. He never goes to anybody’s house in America. He flies over the country, that’s all,” the boy observed.
“My dad works in Norway. He also flies there. Then he lives there,” her voice sounded even. She was merely stating a fact. Then she added, “What’s your name?”
“Pablo.”
The whispering stopped and there was silence. The bus was going at a steady speed through the hills of the Pyrenees. It passed green pastures, vineyards, villages with its churches and fields. Fields that were now bright green with patches of red poppy flowers sprinkled along the road.
“Pablo, Pablo,” she whispered.
“What?” he turned to her.
“I was looking for you,” she said.
“I saw horses.”
“I know,” she felt silent and then added, “My dad told me once that if my mom works a lot we will be able to buy a farm in America and five horses. All I want in life is to live on a farm and ride a horse.”
“My dad just bought a new car,” Pablo said in the same low and intense voice.
“We do not have a car here. We get one when we need it. We are going to move to another country soon.”
The bus crossed the Spanish border. Both of them felt silent looking at the road.

Some Other Girl

My three coffees at El Fornet

So, today is the mother’s day here in Europe. I completely forgot about it. This morning I woke up at 9:44am, which is unusual, as normally 7am would sound about right. Kids are at my parent’s place today! Great! This does not happen very often, thus I appreciate the silence in the morning.

I woke up and read my ipad and stumbled upon a post in a blog I like and it was about a mom, sort of a mother’s day gift.  The post was great and then I realized that I have not congratulated my mom at all. How come I always forget about these things? Then, it got to me that I am also a mom. I never think of myself as one.

Yesterday I was taking my kids to the park and while I was buttoning my suit style jacket my daughter told me, “You do not look like a mom”. I turned to her and asked her how I looked. And she said, “Just like some other girl”. Whatever this means, I took it as a compliment. There we were walking barefoot with my kids in the park…

Grass in the park

I went to the café for breakfast. I am here right now typing all this while finishing my first coffee. I looked at the café’s cakes offering (see the picture below) and it reassured me that it must be a mother’s day here today.  I wanted to ask the girl who made my coffee if it was really a mother’s day, but could not pronounce anything intelligible. I had no voice. Still could whisper. Yesterday I went to the café for dinner and to read the book I just got, and when I was walking home it started to rain heavily. I got totally wet and lost my voice, it happens.  After hearing myself at the cafe this morning, I think this is probably my most attractive voice ever.

Mother's day cakes at el fornet

Yes, it is the mother’s day here in Europe! I checked my email, and I got couple of “happy mother’s day” messages from friends. I also got two awesome emails at my work email, no, not about mother’s day, just about work, straight to the point! Those made my day!

So, today is a great day! After I drink two or three more coffees and read for an hour or so I will go home and work. Because this is what I really want to do. Working makes me think and makes me excited. It feels like I am actually making some difference, creating something from nothings, moving somewhere. Even if we are failing now, we will make it because we are persistent and feel the purpose. We will make it because I can tell people what to do and they will do it. This is a gift I truly value. I have been told that I should go out and enjoy myself, the truth is I hate losing my time at dinners, lunches, having conventional conversations, talking about other people and things, discussing news, etc. It bores me to death. My work is what really makes me excited.

Happy mother’s day to all moms! Do the things you truly love and are passionate about, today and the rest of the days to come! It really does not matter what those things are, as long as you feel it from your heart. And it must be something with purpose.

My favorite corner table at el fornet

ships at el fornetThose are the ship pictures at El Fornet cafe, right in front of my table. I like to sit at this corner table and to glance from time to time, blindly, at the ships while I work. I can see the rest of the cafe from my place too. As a kid, I was excited about ships and learnt to draw them in detail from a technical guide and blueprints. I was preparing myself to build a ship!

Looking Back at my School Years

Institut Ausias MarchThe building in the back is my high school. It is called Institut Ausias March and it is located in the upper part of Barcelona, Spain. I went there between 1994 and 1997. The picture is taken from the park Cervantes. It is a public park, meaning it was and it is free to visit. If I look back at my school years, I remember this park more than the school itself. I ate my lunch here every day with my friends. We talked about our lives and walked in between of the beds of roses.

Park CervantesThis is the bench we used to sit and eat our sandwiches. And then walk, for about ten minutes, as our breaks were short.

Roses in park cervantesWhen you looked up you saw roses over your head.

pasarela park cervantes

park CervantesThis was (and is) the view of the park and of the city from where we ate our lunch.

Lavender in park cervantesI remember one year, it was my birthday and my friend Mireia brought me a container full of home-made Buñuelos. Then, I have just returned from a trip to Portugal where I tried Buñuelos for the first time and I guess I mentioned how good those were. And Mireia did them at home and brought them to school for lunch. It was a surprise and we ate them there on the grass, picnic style. I never forgot this one!

Rose in park cervantes
Rose
red rose
park cervantesThe park is in the upper part of Barcelona and very few people know about it. I have never seen tourists in the park. And many times our small group of three or four girls were the only people there at 10:30am.

Olive trees in the parkToday I took my daughter to this park. Every day my belief in beauty becomes stronger. We need to surround our children with the most beautiful sounds, views, thoughts. Otherwise they will never be akin to the real beauty. The only way to keep them away from vulgarity, is to get their eyes used to looking at trees and flowers; Is to get their ears used to listening to the most beautiful music; Is to get their minds used to thinking about life, and magic and the power of the human spirit.

Olive trees in park cervantesWhat haunts me about these olive trees is the round shadow they project on the grass. It reminds me of the rose window in the cathedrals. It makes me feel its silence and serenity.

Red rose

Cypress and the moonAt 10:30am you can still see the moon from the park. Looking back at my school years, I used to think in verse.

Если ты один

Если ты один, и я одна,
Все белым бело,
Не видно неба.
Грозди грусти слеплены из снега,
Словно сплетни из полотен сна.

Если ты живешь через моря,
А меня как будто бы и нету.

Да и я как будто не одна.

Если не судьба, то пусть весна
Проскользнула гранью до рассвета,
Или не успела, да должна.

Блеск ли губ, иль всплеск зрачков поэта,
Ласки рук, твоя щека до сна,
Пара слов на коже как роса,
С первого весеннего букета.

Поцелуем на висках дыханье лета,
На плече твоем моя рука
Звонкий смех в ночи,
пришла весна!

Или это в чистом небе где–то
Спорят невпопад колокола,
Предвещая целостность полета
Может вместе, может на всегда.

Today was just a day

Velodromo

The waiter placed the coffee and the desert on the table and I smiled widely and said “Merci”. This is what you say in Catalonia as “Thank you”. Why did I smile so widely? I looked at myself in the mirror this afternoon and smiled, just to see my face smiling. Lots of wrinkles all over my face when I smile. Also the smile does not look natural on my face. I should not smile if I do not feel like it. Looking without smiling is ok too. At least there are no wrinkles and I like my face then.

I turned 35. Today. I also turned to be a depressed person. Nope, not today, but over the past year or two. Depressed does not mean that I sit home and cry. On the contrary, I am always busy, doing something, taking care of something, talking, walking, meeting, drinking coffee and making plans. But when I am on my own I do not smile. And I do not like it. I used to smile to myself before all the time.  And the only line that comes to my mind right now is “Life is not a walk across a field”, which is from my favorite poem by Pasternak.

We went with my family to Velodromo. It is by far my favorite place in Barcelona. I come here two or three times a week. It is thirty minutes walking distance from my house and a lot of times I walk here in order to do some kind of exercise. Thirty minutes here and thirty minutes back home is already something. I walk to the place even when it rains. And it is raining now.

Today was just a day. For some reason everybody expects you to be super happy and excited on your birthday. And I felt it was just a day. It was as good as any other day and I wished people would leave me alone and stop asking me to smile all the time. If I felt like smiling, I would have smiled myself.  Thus, we went to Velodromo. Even if I feel sad, I come to this place and I start feeling better. There is something about the space and the food that makes me feel relaxed and be part of the people around. As always, the food was very good and the desert and coffee even better. They have one of my favorite Catalonian deserts El postre del musico (The musician desert). It is a selection of nuts and dried fruits and a glass of muscatel.

When the waiter left the desert and the coffee on the table I smiled widely and said “Merci”. And my family asked me what happy thoughts I was thinking to suddenly smile so nicely. And the truth is no thoughts. I just smiled back without thinking. It did feel really good to smile without any reason. I love this place.

Velodromo Barcelona

Velodromo Barcelona

Velodromo Restaurant

Velodromo Barcelona

Velodromo restaurant

El postre del musicoEl postre del musico (The musician desert) and an americano.

Ron BabaRon Baba

Pear in chocolateA pear dipped in the hot chocolate and an espresso.

Menu en Velodromo The menu in Velodromo had birds on the back. Which was great as the kids and me are working on a bird project at home. Those are single-use menus and people are welcome to take them (we asked). Last time we were here they had girls in bikinis with Spanish football club logos! We took some copies for our football loving friends in US.

Velodromo MenuPart of the Velodromo menu.

Velodromo restaurant Velodromo. Tables on the second floor.