Many times I do not like how my shoes look. It is not that they look bad, but there is something unnatural about most of the shoes. They make you feel uncomfortable and at times concerned about your own look.
It was raining heavily this morning and when I was getting out of the kids’ school I silently observed the shoes of other parents. It was not done on purpose, I just stopped for a few seconds under the roof and looked at the rain puddles on the school patio and then saw the shoes. There were all kinds of shoes: rain-boots, leather shoes, very modern sport shoes, tennis shoes, tall leather boots with heels, leather boots without heels, grey snickers, black man boots, blue and orange artist shoes.
And all of the shoes looked out of place. Like if the pair of shoes and the person wearing them did not agree on something earlier in the day but still decided to pursue this bit of road together. There was some pain in the way the shoes related to its’ owners. One sensed that at times the person will be embarrassed about the shoes, at times the shoes will feel uncomfortable and even hurt the feet lightly, at times the shoes will not coordinate with the rest of the clothing. At times the shoes will look plainly ugly.
And at the same time we will still be okey with our shoes.
I always feel the awkwardness of the shoes. Barefoot is the best way to walk on the grass, the sand, the ocean. But I love the shoes too, even if they feel unnatural and make me insecure at times. They make you feel present. I like looking at the shoes. In the cafes. Some shoes look ugly and I like it too. The ugliness of the shoes makes the other person real. And you smile. The incompatibility takes all the pain away for a few moments. You feel the warmth. Then you sit quietly and drink your hot tea on a very rainy day. And listen to the sound of the rain drops.