People will want to average you out. To make you average. Because it is safer for them. It is more predictable and easier to live if we are all similar.
If you are strong people will tell you to become gentler. If you are kind and nice people will tell you to become tougher. If you are fat people will tell you to lose weight. If you are skinny they will tell you to gain some. If you are creative they will want you to become more organized. If you are very organized they will encourage you to be more creative. It comes all to the fact that they want you to be like everybody else. Instead of you being very strong at something people will want you to develop all your other sides. Once you listen to them you will become a well-rounded person. An average person.
I think we should not follow the advice of others. Follow your gut and intuition instead. Be more you and less average. And this means you will not be a well-rounded person, but you will be very good at who you really are.
I am a strong-willed (stubborn?) person by nature. A leader, a chief, a hunter … I always felt admiration for strength in all its forms: emotional, mental and physical. In a crowd I will only notice and remember people who posses those qualities. I will also remember those who desperately need them and be there to protect them. Since I was a kid I climbed trees, played pirates, learned how to fight, became good at throwing knifes, made explosives in our kitchen and shoot arrows into the birds in our summer house. Some days I believed I was Hamlet and others I was Captain Blood. With all this I was never a tomboy. I loved dresses and I loved being a girl. However I greatly enjoyed all the “boys” games. The pace and energy of it are part of my nature.
At a birthday party when I was 6 or 7 y.o. all the mothers were commenting on us, little girls, sitting around the birthday table. One mother said that we all looked cute like little kittens. And other mother commented that yes, all, except me, because I looked like a lioness cub. I did not know if I liked this comment or not but I remembered it.
As I became a grown up all I heard was that I should be more feminine. Than instead of playing horse polo or doing judo I should take on dancing or yoga, or at least swimming. Something that will make me be more of a woman. Those comments came from my family, close friends, boyfriends…. almost everybody.
I am not masculine at all. Those who can’t see my femininity are blind. They are looking for a washed out stereotype of what a weak and needy woman (or man) should be. I enjoy greatly being a woman. I love myself. I love my body. I look at myself every time I get out of the shower or when I change in front of the mirror. And I love what I have become. Every curve, every cell of my skin, every muscle of my body is extremely feminine and sensual. It is also strong and powerful.
I am glad I only did what I wanted to do. I am glad I did not dilute myself with things that are not me. I am glad I did not do what other people told me to do. This would have made me be blah. This would not have made me be more feminine, it just would not allow me to become a deeper and more passionate me.
We know who we are. We should develop those qualities that make us be “us” to its uttermost excellence. We should not spend time of making ourselves average. Life is too short for that. If you are kind, then shoot for being the kindest. If you are strong, then work on becoming stronger. If you can control your emotions like nobody else, then keep improving it even more. Focus on your strengths and love them, grow them, work on them. Listen to who you are and be that even more. Amplified 10x.
…and when I dance, I dance; For those who have seen me dance know it. Hell… I love dancing in the trenches of gothic streets of some mediterranean city in summer nights. You dive into the night air and the life is forever and your skin becomes music.