I do not want to write anything pragmatic or that has logic behind it. We all work too much and do all the stuff that makes sense. A few days ago, as we were driving back home, my nine-year-old daughter asked me from the back seat of the car, “Why do we have dreams?”. And there was this moment of quietness before I said anything. Actually I did not say, but instead asked her, “Did you have any dream recently?” And she said, “No. I am just wondering why do we have dreams.”
And I did not have any good answer. I really do not know why we have dreams. So, I told her the first thing that came to my mind. I told her that subconsciously since we are born we know what is good for us and what our life could be and these visions from inside of us become our dreams. And that if we do what is in our dreams we will be happier because we will bring the “inside” of us closer to the “outside of us”, we will bring our heart to the real life of us.
After I realized that no sensible investor will invest in my company at this stage, I stopped telling people how I am planning to make money. Instead I started telling what I believe in. I believe that we, those of us living in U.S., should help people who live in less fortunate environments, where opportunities are rare and everything is harder. I started this company to help people in Asia, South America, Eastern Europe to get jobs, to do well at their jobs, to be confident and succeed. I know how our confidence influences every aspect of our lives and when I read that report that said that 8 out of 10 Asians do not get jobs because of poor English, I knew that I wanted to spend my life to help these people. I was already working on a language solution then, but this made me realize why I am doing it. We are building an Enterprise software that will use the same logic and will support the whole company, and this is how we are going to make money. However, the purpose of the whole project remains the same. And it is not that hard to go through everything when you believe in what you do. Not just believe a little bit, but truly believe because it goes with the purpose of your life: to care for others. And I feel much better since I stopped telling investors how I am planning to make money and started telling them what I believe in. The result is the same, most of them will not invest now, but I feel much better by saying the truth. You rarely hear people say what they believe in. You hear people say what they do. And it is beautiful to hear somebody on the stage or on the other side of the table say “I believe in…”. I believe is like a dream. You stop talking about tangible world and talk about dreams. And conversation is so interesting.
I started thinking about my dreams. Apart from the company, which I truly love and daydream about, I have other dreams. My night dreams are erratic and senseless till they make sense. I would wake up and not remember any dreams. But if I see a picture or hear some words I would remember the night stuff. Mostly about physical touch as I fall asleep. Touching the other hand. The small wrinkles around your eyes. And the yellowish lights over the big wooden doors, and our footsteps on the empty streets. And a kiss and my hand on the back of your neck. And the noise of the night city and kissing the ear. Right ear. And the awkward feeling of the distance as you sit across the table. And the wine that is not Syrah, because in Spain they do not serve Syrah everywhere.
Those dreams are rare. Rare because normally I am tired and exhausted and fall asleep before my head touches the pillow and when I wake up my mind is already thinking about this latest feature we are developing for the language platform. And I like to wake up early, get my coffee and in the coldish air before sunrise start working. When you believe in something every small step is important and you want to move forward. And somehow it is nice how dreams, and love, and hours of work, and what you believe in – all of it comes together in one life.
And then you always have the Paris airport…
(The picture – one of my favorites – is from Paris airport, July 2016)